It’s a new turn of the wheel and I start it with a sore neck from having slept awkwardly (ᵕ・ᴗ・)

Recently, I’ve been up to some professional development as I try harder to leave my current employment. It’s starting to become impossible to maintain a positive attitude there with the current state of it. Other than that, I’m trying to move around my surroundings to make it easier for me to navigate my hobbies. I have a lot of hobbies and the issue is that they take up space but if I stuff them away somewhere I forget they exist (っ-﹏- ς)

As part of my professional development, I have been working on a creative project. I started planning it during my surgery recovery and spent hours and hours on it. I have been spending time on it now that I’m back at work, but my motivation has been fairly low and I’m unfortunately one of those people who can get discouraged by slow development. My mind isn’t as sharp as when I was younger and it seems like there is plenty more to worry about these days than a few years ago, whether it be political, social or financial. I’ve been struggling with finding balance in my free time between the need to make more money and the need to enjoy life (,,>﹏<,,)

Not enough money to enjoy life with but if I’m making enough money at my current job, there’s not enough time to enjoy those things. I’m hoping that this cycle will be stabilising for me. I’ve spent so much time trying to feel content with comfort only to realise that it’s not very comfortable where I am to begin with “( – ⌓ – ). I need to get better at playing the long game. My wish before the next wheel turn is to be out of the job I am currently in and find a way to manage my motivation and time to have made enough progress on my development, whether personal or professional, that it no longer feels like a futile task!

As the new wheel turns, look deep into what you really want and need. Are you actually comfortable? Are you actually happy? Or is it just easier to be where you are now? I don’t want to settle for easy anymore. It’s going to be a hard journey to claw for what I want but I finally believe for the first time that I deserve it (و •̀ ᴗ•́ )و

Happy Samhain!