I only have a week left until I return to work, marking the end of my formal recovery period and week eight of my recovery. Technically I think it’s nine weeks I’ll have been off due to needing to extend some time but I return on the 24th.

Financially, it’s important I go back to work, but my mindset is focusing in on leaving the place as soon as I line up another job. I’m looking at other work, trying to put together cover pages but they can be pretty overwhelming. Some of them want generic cover pages, which I’m not good at in the first place, and others want a whole lot of extra specifics in their cover letters and I already struggle to fit enough of the generic information in much less all of the extra questions they ask. I understand the point of them but it’s a little frustrating to be spending so much time on what feels like homework when it might not even amount to so much as an email telling me I’m not what they’re looking for “( – ⌓ – ).

My cover letters lack conviction, I know that much, and I struggle with being succinct. I don’t know if it’s a result of me feeling like everything needs context but in a cover letter it’s difficult for me even when I cull back any style, flair or “excess” and so it results in becoming such an arduous task that I abandon it. And then it’s the spiral of self doubt. “I can’t even write a cover letter, how do I expect to work anywhere better than where I’m at?”

I just want to work at a place that doesn’t treat me poorly in every which way they can, but it feels like I’m fighting for my life

.·°՞(˃ ᗜ ˂)՞°·. I suppose that’s simply how it is.

I swear I have skills and work well, even if my cover letter suggests otherwise. My confidence and selling of my skills is the lowest stat I have. The rest have much higher levels, honest ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)