I’m working at both jobs today, but I did get to sleep in a little. I’m also sitting at my desk with a hot tea on this fine, chilly morning, and so I’m getting a little bit of peace after the onslaught that was the past four days. And then I get a break tomorrow and then it’s a double shift … and then it’s a big shift … and another … and another … and then I’m free! If people behave and just use common sense so we don’t have another positive contact.

Never do I want to write more than when I can’t. Sometimes, when I’m at work, I try to get my brain working on the things I would be if I wasn’t there (but, would I be actually doing it?—hopefully) and usually I can mull things over and work on what I can remember, but I was so disoriented this week that I couldn’t even remember what I was writing, I could only remember that I was having weird dreams and that’s it. My emails are full of missed deadlines and all I can really do is watch them build up and for some of them say “well, maybe next year”. There are 14 tasks overdue on my ClickUp and can literally just watch as the days get added to them until I get some time that isn’t dedicated to eating, sleeping and trying to relax for a moment. I feel like leaving myself voicemails.

“Hey, Ed, yeah, about that project we’ve been trying to do, you know the one that we thought was going somewhere … um, well, you’ve left it in the pile for a bit so I thought I should check to see if you remember it … just in case you forgot?”