This week has been hot and a little rainy, with a dash of writing and uncontrollable excitement over the prospect of soon (ish) having my own place. My own space. I’ve been trying to reel in my enthusiasm, as it isn’t for another two months until we should start looking for an apartment and another two until we finish the lease in this one.

Today, I resume my role as Dungeon Master for my ongoing campaign. The last time we met up was in November, I think. I’m not sure if I’m prepared for the session (I’M NEVER SURE) but it will be fun to hang out with everyone again. It’s times like these when I remember that I actually do have friends and a nice support network, and I am grateful for it.

For the week coming, I am a little busy, although my graduation ceremony is no longer going ahead. It has been postponed because of the current Covid situation and should be taking place in either February or March, depending on the circumstances. I’m not mad at the university because of it, it’s totally understandable, but I am a little miffed that it might mean it will be harder for my important people to attend the ceremony because of work. They’d already planned around the day. The silver lining, however, is that no one had to buy plane tickets and all the tickets I bought are being refunded. I’ve definitely been left in a better position than some people.

I’m still looking/applying for jobs and have some opportunities popping up in the coming week. I’m hoping to at least have something solid by mid-February. I won’t be in a terrible position if I don’t get a job by the time I move, but it’s an anxiety that’s starting to suffocate me. I currently just earn enough to pay rent and so my savings are getting chipped at. I think I’m also hesitant to commit to a new workplace. Where I previously worked was so great that it’s terrifying to think that I have to return to a potentially abusive workplace. But I’ve grown since then and even though most places might have something disagreeable, I don’t think the workplace can be worse than how it was when I had to leave my job in 2019. I think it’s one of those fears that I have to hold my breath on and just dive under the rock and hope I come out on the other side still breathing.

I’ve been thinking about how to improve my writing in terms of producing intelligent pieces. I’m not great at it. I don’t know if it’s just my inexperience, perspective or if I’m not clever or not intelligent, but I want to write more things that have more substance and meaning. Because that might also be a better look for the profile I’m trying to build. I might need to take some small classes on those specific forms of writing. I should also look at starting to actively increase my vocabulary again. I haven’t done that in years and so just pick up new words as I hear or read them, and even then I don’t retain too much anymore.

All will be well, I keep telling myself.