Semester finished almost two weeks ago for me but I definitely spent the past fortnight just recovering and getting rid of the excess anxiety from it. That, and wasting time. I have a lot of projects that I want to do over different areas of my life and though I have time for it now that I’m in semester break, but I’ve been spending a lot of time worrying about the next semester and just procrastinating. I haven’t quite conquered the “just because you might make a mistake, does mean you shouldn’t try” mindset.

On the agenda are writing projects, gardening, craft projects and professional development projects.

• The Pirate and the Clumsy Mage
• The Tales of Mylvetta: the Emperor’s Bloody Shadow
• The Richell Prize
• My cultural safety journey
• Black Lives Matter and Deaths in Custody Commitments: Being an Ally
• Re-plant the garden
• Edo period Japanese sweet shop diorama
• Professional reflections
• Studying my beliefs and engaging with them
• Textbook studies (I have a few topics I want to cover in depth)
• Preparing internship documents for assessment and submission
• Power through my Japanese textbook
• Finish Jane Eyre
• Write my ‘review’ on Songs for the Dead
• Reviewing books that I’ve read in the past?

Amongst that I have a lot of little commitments that I want to achieve in terms of health, habits and hobbies. I also want to brush up on skills, improve skills and develop them. Sometimes I just think about all of the things I want to do and then get caught up thinking about all of them… and then I don’t do any of them. I need to stop spending time worrying and spend it living. I’m better at doing that compared to the me a few years ago but it’s still something I’m working on.

Semester 2 begins in about three weeks and so I need to complete what I can before then because it will be my last semester in this degree before graduation. I’m both scared and excited to graduate, because I’m not sure what’s waiting me over that graduation mountain and this is going to be one of my greatest achievements. Not just because it’s a writing degree, something that I am passionate about, but because when I was younger I never thought I would be able to make it this far. I grew up with not a lot of opportunity and so I think that has something to do with why I’m hesitant to take them, but I need to. Your life might have circumstances that make it difficult, and the government itself might make it difficult, but it’s not impossible. I reached a point as a child where my dreams became ‘nevers’. I would tell myself that I would never travel outside of Australia, I would never go to uni, I would never be able to own my own car or have a steady relationship or even be able to think about owning my own home. But, I’ve been to Japan, I’m about to finish my degree, I have a car now, I have a great partner and, though it will be a bit of a struggle, I am making plans to own my own home. It’s been hard, but I no longer chant ‘never’.

Things you want might slip through your fingers, and they might fall far, but you can always reach down and try and pick them back up, you just need to put in the effort to reach for them.