Oh look, it’s something that I said I would commit to months ago and then didn’t, that’s not very me.

To be a bit more serious, I’ve actually done well so far this year. Not perfect, not as great as I should be doing but good enough that I’m a little impressed with myself. I’ve been writing a lot more, hitting most of my targets so far, and getting other things outside of work done. I’m keen for the new semester to start and keen to get back into my DND Campaign (on another blog) because it’s been almost two months since the last session. I’m ready to graduate at the end of the year. I’m ready to do this.

Currently, my targets for this week are at:

• 13,428/10,000 for “Personal Writing”
• 4,027/5,000 for “Professional Writing”

I haven’t written every day of this week and mostly smashed out a lot of this in the last couple of days (which is pretty standard for me). I haven’t missed a Morning Page yet, but there is a nice correlation with getting close to the two-page mark and getting up early and being productive… who would have thought.

I’ve been feeling those “creative juices” nicely flowing, and it really is a drug. Having been barren of creativity during those rocky times at uni, I’m so happy to be freely writing. I have done that bad thing where I’ve just created a lot of new projects on a whim, kind of looking at my old (and much more developed and so should be higher priority) with side glances as they ‘tch’ at me for neglecting them. I feel that this is one of my greatest flaws as a writer (even as a person really): I like to get 50-75% done and then start something else. I think it’s a combination of getting bored of one and over-excited about another. I flat-line. I wondered for a while if it was self-sabotage (and it really could be) but I just reach a point where I find it difficult to keep putting myself into a project, even if I still really love it.

In terms of my ‘Professional Writing’, my biggest weakness is that I sit down and go “ah… wtf am I writing about?” I’m working on putting more effort into jotting down quick ideas to expand on or consider what I can write about each time I hit that wall. Usually it’s just me muttering to myself about how I don’t know what to write because some things I’d like to do will probably just turn out as garbage. But hey, at least garbage is a product, it’s something, and I can recycle it, repurpose it and get better. That’s what I need to tell myself from now on. Really need to smack myself with the “JUST WRITE IT” mentality that is usually encouraged.

Monitoring my words written weekly/monthly has been a great help. I used to monitor it a while ago but stopped. Now I have an Excel spreadsheet, a huge poster over my bed and small mentions of my progress in my Morning Pages to show me what kind of progress I’m making, what kind of productivity I’ve got going. It’s rewarding and reassuring.

I’m more organised than I was last year, and I’ve kept most of it up for the year and so have past that 30-day mark where a habit is meant to settle in… right? Usually, I find that I spend a month and then the habit drops off, but so far I have been good. Not nearly as productive in terms of what I could have done, but pretty productive in terms of what I have done compared to 2019… and 2018… and 2017… and you get the picture.

I’m a lot more on top of my finances (oh, that sounds adulty), my writing, my work and my health. Hopefully, I don’t get three weeks into the semester and just throw everything out of the window.

I keep a Bullet Book now and carry it around with me so I remember to keep looking at it and updating everything. I’ve reached that point where I’m eager to put down what I need to do and get it done. I also have some really nice markers that I’m using to colour code and sort it out. And stickers!… to cover up blank spots in there. But all in all, BB takes up the time that is usually dedicated to preparing to be productive… which usually leads to being unproductive. So I actually prepare to be productive and then I am (for the most part).
(I call it a Bullet Book instead of a Bullet Journal because I refer to it as BB and didn’t want to refer to it as… well…)

That’s my Writing Reflection for the Week starting 3rd February 2020.