I have three major weaknesses when it comes to being a Dungeon Master (DM).

1. Narrow Expectation Planning (what do mean the player didn’t do anything I planned for?)
2. Brain Processing (sorry, let me look up the rules for this for the fourth time)
3. Confidence

I’ll never really be free from number one or two, but number three is something that I’ve been working the hardest on. The best advice that I’ve got for it is: be silly.

The lack of confidence stems from an anxiety over making a fool of oneself; but the lack of being silly never stops me from making fool of myself anyway. Worrying about looking silly in front of my players stops me from really praticing my improv and roleplay and restricts the personality and style of my DMing. If I can just get used to being silly in the first place, I’ll stop “feeling silly” at some point, right? I’m trying to desensitise myself to embarassment (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

I’ve been bullied and mocked through out my life and so you would think that I would be used to it but instead I’ve developed an anxious avoidance to being made fun of when I’ve tried and failed something. Shedding that vulnerability is easier said than done and so my tip is to be silly on purpose! You cannot fail by feeling silly if the intention was to be silly! A little bit of reframing trickery, because apparently it’s the only way I can get my brain to listen to me.

I think almost every great Dungeon Master will tell you to have fun with it, that it’s the best thing that you can do when you play, and this is true, but being able to “have fun” with it is a skill that you need to develop. Sometimes these pieces of advice feel obvious in what they mean and simple to apply, but it ends up more complicated than that and either stressful as a result or you might feel like you’re not capable of just “having fun”.

What does it even mean? How much of the responsibility of it is on your shoulders? Should you prioritise the players over yourself? You’ll figure it out gradually, but as you do, don’t be afraid to be silly. It’s part of the learning process. The sillier you feel, the more you’ve worked on it. And always think of “feeling silly” in a “silly” sense, think of it lightheartedly and positively. “Silly” was used as a diminishing term when I was a kid and so “feeling silly” always meant “feeling [insert a variety of negative adjectives]”, but since starting to let go of the need to get it right the first time and everytime, there’s a lot more laughs at the table and I’ve improved my DMing.

To fight the fear of failure: one must fail!