I’ve been gradually working on one of my first big projects. I’ve rewritten the first draft of the first book a few times, and have overhauled the entire synopses for the series more than that. I’m happy with how it has developed alongside with my writing, I can really see the improvement over the years, all the way back from 2010, when I first started writing it. As it’s my “precious”, I’ve been hesitant touching it for years, only ever really dabbling with the work outside actually writing it. I just kept thinking that I wasn’t ready to touch it, and I would only ruin it and have to keep writing it. But recently I’ve come to the conclusion that “waiting for the right time” is not going to happen. I need to write it now. I can always keep on improving on it, but I’ve got nothing to improve on when there’s barely anything written, and so that’s what I’ve been working on.

I’m not going to share the details of this project, as it honestly that special to me, but maybe when I’m able to get through that first draft once again, I will. Because then I’ll have something (other than all of the dated-paper notes I’ve kept all these years) to say “that’s mine”.

In the past few weeks, I’ve been gathering all of the notes that I have on the project. Much of it is redundant now because of the huge changes I’ve made to it (and I was writing more digitally then), but there are a couple of key things that I love and want to keep but had forgotten, and so I’ve just been slogging through those. It’s made me remember just how much I used to write notes on paper (when I could), and there’s definitely something more satisfying about seeing a full pad of paper of writing rather than a folder full of word documents. I now have two files on the one project in my filing cabinet (YAY I HAVE A FILING CABINET), one for current notes and one for all the notes from the previous versions. However, I don’t think I have the printed drafts anymore. They were all from 2010-2016, and so they’re probably not much to look at anyway.

I got distracted. I was finishing up chores (the washing machine was what told me to) and was taking the rubbish out only to find that one of the other people in the complex had switched their bin with ours, leaving us with a maggot filled bin … I think I’m going to take a breather, get a hot coffee (mine died slowly while I was outside) and try and remember what train of thought I was on.

Ah, the work I’m doing on one of my projects. That’s right.

I refer to the project often as “my baby”. It’s the only time I use that term like that. Because it really is. It’s one of the pieces that I don’t think I could live with if it got taken away. That’s my feelings about it. For now, I’ll just refer to it on here as DWF. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before. I think I have referenced when talking about how I’ve developed as a writer, but I think that’s it.

What I’m doing right now with it is trying to properly sort out the synopsis. I have about three that are in different places and though they’re all on a similar track, each holds sections of important things not mentioned in the others (as I kept losing them and re-writing—don’t know how, considering they’re all digital). I’ve started writing the draft again, and am happy where it starts, but I’ve realised I don’t know how to get from A to C. I don’t know what B is, and I can’t settle on an agreement with myself over what that is. So I’m just fiddling with some scenes first before I give up and continue on, vowing to come back to it when I realise what will fit in nicely.

I’m also trying to gather all of the notes for it to one place finally. I have a different notebook and different stack of notes for all of the various times I’ve worked on it or restarted it in the past, and they really have never been consolidated. I have a digital file that now holds most of it, but I still haven’t finished combing through what came before it.

I’ll try to keep updating on this as well, because it might help me sort through any writing issues I’m having with it—and it gives me something to write about when I can’t think of anything. Irony? Can’t think of anything to write about, so let’s write about writing! The ultimate procrastination. But useful.