I have been physically writing anything for a while, with work hours picking up and the end of the semester having come and then waiting on results and celebrating different events. It has been a little hard trying to get my thoughts in order to get them on the page, even in draft mode. And so most of my writing has really just been happening in my head and every now and then I try to blow them onto the page, even if it’s just as notes. I’m still having some cognitive issues but I also think the problem is the heat where I live currently. The heat makes me slow and sleepy and I basically end up just staring at my desk with my eyes three-quarter-lidded. Today it seems nice outside. It’s overcast but the radar projects no rain and that this won’t last long. I’m thinking of grabbing a cup of tea for the comforting taste (and the ritual of making and drinking it) while it’s a reasonable temperature to drink.

Sometimes I get paranoid about sharing what I’m writing about here … and then I feel like I’m being egotistical by thinking my work might be worth stealing … especially when I have so few people visiting my blog … that kind of mad carousel. But it’s therapeutic to write about them on here, even if I’m not really bouncing them off anyone for feedback. It’s nice to document the experience and gives me a moment to reflect on my creative process for different projects and how I feel about them.

Land Meets the Sea

I had a dream the other night that I was a Polynesian princess blessed by the gods with power, and on the eve of the New Year, I had to dance on the surface of the sea from sunrise to sunset to solidify the connection between me and the gods and stabilise my country. There would be a ceremony and celebrations all night long, with fireworks, magic displays and a lot of music, drinking and dancing. The dream took place on the day of the eve as I was getting ready. I had a handful of close retainers whom all had a magical proficiency (i.e. lightning, plants etc.) and though we were really close, we had to pretend we weren’t in front of my father. The king loved me more than anything and was strict about how people were to treat me, meaning I sometimes had to cover up friendly behaviour. I tripped over luggage in the room I was in and when he came in, he was outraged for some reason, and so I had to pretend that I was behaving like a spoiled brat and was kicking my luggage around and throwing a tantrum on the floor … it was really weird, haha. The king looked very much like my real dad, only, I’ve never seen my father in traditional Tongan or Samoan clothing. Now, the conflict of the dream was that I was in love with one of the retainers who wouldn’t answer me on the matter at all (don’t know if I was just being pushy or if it was because of the difference in status), and he happened to also be an ex-rebel and the ex-lover of the woman who was wanted for treason because she tried to assassinate me. And so that was upsetting. I decided to go through the ceremony and sever ties with him afterwards, without exposing his past to the kingdom.

It wasn’t the first time that I’ve had a dream with Polynesian elements, but it was the first with usable story elements. I don’t intend for the title to be Land Meets the Sea, I just couldn’t think of anything else when I created the Scrivener file. I don’t like the current title, it sounds like something used a thousand times before, but that’s what I’ll be referring to it as until I workshop it a bit. What I’m excited about when it comes to working on this, is that it gives me a chance to really explore my Tongan-Samoan heritage in writing. It won’t just be about a character but the work as a whole. I’ve thought about doing something similar before but have had a lot of identity-related journeys/questions recently. I’m proud of my Polynesian heritage, but have never really embraced it (or my Swiss heritage for that matter) in my writing, and I think I’m ready to. I just wanted to make sure I did it right.

I’ve already refined the plot and structure and hope to start smashing out some of the writing. As it will be magical-realism, I’m more at ease with using the Polynesian elements that I’m used to. One of my biggest barriers is worrying that I as a “half-blood” have no place writing from the perspective of a “full-blood”, but I have come to learn that blood quantum is a Western concept, and that regardless of having only one Polynesian parent, I am Polynesian. I am Tongan and Samoan. Not “half” or “quarter-this quarter-that”. I am.

The Digital Empress

This is something I started about a month ago but haven’t made incredible progress with. It’s one of those ideas that I get that are exciting and easy to think about in my head but difficult to actually find substance for when writing. I think it suits being a graphic novel more than a traditional novel.

The Digital Empress follows Beanna (often called Banana) and her journey to get that social life she always wanted. With a difficult upbringing, her focus has been on raising her little sister and trying to get a foothold in society to maintain a reasonable lifestyle. But she’s shy and awkward, despite wanting to have sleepovers and pizza parties and tea parties and going out to the movies and doing self-care nights … all of those things she’s come to want to do over the years. She has colleagues she’s friendly with, but nothing quite close to what she would like, but she can’t quite seem to figure out how to move friendships to those levels. On the other hand, Beanna is one of the top players in a mobile game called Reign of the Eternal Empress. She’s relaxed with the friends she has on there, is respected and often the one people go to for advice, and so it’s just about finding a way to apply that to the real world.

So, the idea is that the novel is split into two types of settings, Beanna’s real life and then her gameplay as if it’s reality. The problem with this is that I’m finding it hard to write extended scenes for her as the empress, meaning there’s a lot of smalls scattered scenes that I feel upset the flow. I’ve thought about changing the game to something less “immersive” for her imagination and more that she is just an excellent player, but there’s an appeal to using the stigma around those kinds of mobile games as it works with Beanna’s conflicts. I play one of the games and, though there are a few things that I don’t like about it (writing, pay-to-win etc. (on that note, I don’t think it’s wrong for free games to have micro-transactions, but this particular game makes it difficult for people to stand a chance in competitive events against people who spend a lot, which just means that the top stay on top)), I do enjoy playing.

If I rework it, it will likely need to be a game that has a good community base. The problem with that it that the other games I play aren’t very community interactive. When I design things like games in my writing, I use base game models and build them from that. It’s not hard to make up game concepts but it’s definitely easier and better for my writing if I’m familiar with how they would work in real life.