One thing that has helped me get through my degree, and just life in general, is SASS.

Secretly Always Stressing & Sweating.

Now, it probably sounds strange to begin with but I’ll explain it further. When I first started university, I was a wreck. When I started university again, I was a lot better, but I was still a ball of anxiety. I’m heading into my third year now and I have not made any friends in my cohort and I can only remember three of their names. Even though they put so much emphasis on ‘networking’, I haven’t been able to do that at all. But, in my second year, I was at least talking to people a lot more than my first and sometimes would even take the initiative to start a conversation. I give my thanks to the people around me who supported me but mostly to RuPaul’s Drag Race.

If you don’t know what RuPaul’s Drag Race is: it’s a television show where Drag Queens are chosen to compete with one another over the next the crown of the next Drag Superstar. The people on this show are amazing and the personalities of them are stunning considering that the hardships they’ve been forced to face as members of the LGBTQ+ community and generally just as “men in wigs”. Now, apart from this, the one thing they imparted on me that changed me the most was their sass. They’ve got it and they don’t care whether or not you think they do. It was this here that helped me.

It’s like a grandiose version of “fake it til you make it”, only I found that watching the TV show made me more relaxed and so more comfortable with behaving how I wanted to. Even if I was freaking out on the way to class, I’d snap my fingers and let that Drag Queen in the back of my head say “you got this boo-boo”. By the way, the particular Drag Queen I love using as my pick-me-up is Latrice Royale. I’d often listen to her song ‘Excuse the Beauty’ while walking to class, and just by pretending I have that confidence, I felt like I was able to pick it up a little.

I still do this currently. Whenever I’m feeling anxious, I use my SASS, more or less evolving my constant anxiety into something that I can work with to incite confidence in me. Sometimes people at work think I’m pretty chatty and you couldn’t tell that I had panic attacks thinking about the ice breakers at the beginning of semesters, but the truth is: I’m still sweating and stressing, I just drag up those emotions and project them as something sassy instead.

Now, I don’t mean ‘sassy’ as in I walk around going ‘yassss gurl werk’ all the time, but more that I found the parts of me that I enjoy and that resonate with the same energy. I’ve taken the fact that I’m Secretly Always Sweating and Stressing and turned it into SASS. Because it’s a lot nicer to find where your confidence lies in your existing mind.

It’s like the Hulk, the secret is “I’m always anxious.”

I’ve just learned to manage my anxieties and keep them in the back of my head where they serve as nice warnings but no longer disrupt my everyday life (as much as they used to, at least).

Next time you’re feeling those sweating palms and that heartbeat that you’re worried might land you in the hospital one day; snap yo’ fingers and tell yourself “you got this, bitch”. Create a loud and gorgeous personality inside you that doesn’t put your anxiety in a box but tells them “we can do this, get yo’ shit together babe, and let’s rock this party”.

It might sound silly, but it’s amazing how it starts out as something that feels embarrassing and evolves into something that really helps. Whether it’s about talking to someone or writing or just doing anything. Find yourself and find your own way. Be the best you that can be!

Until next time: ta!